Once Upon a Time Machine
by windowacrosstime
Summary: The Doctor and Clara have finally returned from Trenzalore, but both are hurt in some way. It will take a long time for either of them to recover from what they have witnessed and will they finally admit their feelings for eachother?
1. Chapter 1

**Once Upon a Time Machine**

Clara Oswald. She was the impossible girl, the only mystery worth solving.

There was something the doctor could not quite ignore. Maybe it was her intelligence, her bravery or the way she raises her eyebrows after almost every one of her sentences. She was his Clara. Perfect in every way. He didn't really think she was bossy, or too small, or that she had a funny nose. Well maybe she was a little bossy.

The Doctor could not hide his panic when the Emperor asked for her hand in marriage, or his relief when she refused. Yet, he agreed with everything the Emperor said about her: she was clever and pretty. No not pretty; beautiful. No one could ever deny that. He definitely would not let his Clara go. He loves her.

Clara knew she loved the Doctor. She always fell in love too easily, sometimes twice a day. Even though the first time she met him, he asked her to jump inside his snog box, she knew he would be impossible to forget. Somehow, his awkwardness and his ability to just blurt out what he is thinking, without even worrying about the consequences, adds to his charm and makes him impossible to hate. Although, allowing Artie and Angie to be turned into walking comas did overstep the boundary. To be honest, it did make the slap a little bit more satisfying. However, it did hurt to realise it was not the Doctor telling her she was funny and pretty, but could it mean the Doctor does think that of her? The Cyber Planner must have found that somewhere inside his brain. It must have because Cybermen aren't capable of emotion.

Does this mean they could become more than just friends in the future? Is there a possibility?


	2. Chapter 2: An Understanding

"So! Where do you want to go?" the Doctor asked happily.

"I know exactly where." grinned Clara, raising her eyebrows excitedly. With that she opened up her copy of '101 Places to See', which she had had clutched to her chest, and pointed to the Great Wall of China. She looked up at the Doctor expectantly, smiling that smile that could make the Doctor fall in love with her all over again.

There was a long silence. Clara's smile started to fade. "What?" Clara demanded.

The Doctor stumbled with his words "Well… urm… it's just…"

"Go on!" Clara interrupted, starting to get impatient.

"Well the Great Wall of China is just so…"

"Well?"

"Boring" blurted the Doctor. "Why don't we go to the future Earth? You know see the sights? Very interesting actually! We might even discover a quadricycle, which I invented of course!" he rambled. What the Doctor had failed to notice was that Clara was now staring at him with a stony expression. If a look could kill that was definitely the one. "We always go where you want to go." Clara whispered, sadness weaving its way into her voice.

"Do you not want to go there?" the Doctor questioned.

"I told you where I want to go!" shouted Clara 'Just this once, Doctor, I ask you to take me somewhere! Just this once and you refuse." Then the tears started to fall. Sobs shook her petite frame. "Clara, what's…" but the Doctor couldn't finish: She was running, running into the depths of the TARDIS.

She looked broken. Broken hearted. Guilt. That was what the Doctor felt. He knew he was the reason Clara had broken down in tears, but he didn't understand why. So, he set off to find her. Of course he knew where she would be: the kitchen; making soufflés. His soufflé girl.

Eventually he found her. She was still crying. It hurt the Doctor to see his Clara like this, so broken, so completely not her that he had to question whether the TARDIS had been tormenting her again.

Clara was sat with her back against the oven door, allowing the warmth to spread through her body, giving her some comfort. Suddenly, she heard a small cough. Her eyes snapped open. It was the Doctor announcing his presence.

Blankly, she stared at him. Tears had stained her cheeks. Slowly, the Doctor made his way over to her as, even though she was nearly a foot smaller than him, she was a force to be reckoned with. Also, she had a pretty powerful right hook; which the Doctor learnt the hard way. Clara still continued to stare. So, he knelt down in front of her and gently clasped her hands in his own. The Doctor started to stroke the back of her hand when he got no response. Clara visibly relaxed at this and finally seemed to register the Doctor's presence properly.

"Clara, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You can go wherever you want. I…" she placed her finger on his lips to silence him. The Doctor felt a shiver run up his spine. "It doesn't matter." She whispered, barely audible.

"But it does matter Clara! I can't stand to see you in this way; it hurts me to see you so sad. Please talk to me." begged the Doctor.

"It's just… I just." She faltered.

The Doctor looked at her reassuringly.

"I just wanted to go because it was one of the places my mum wanted to go before she died and…" she paused "and she never got to go." She managed to choke out and she started to sob.

"Oh Clara." whispered the Doctor. With that he pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. She collapsed into his embrace and cried into his chest. He started to rock her back and forth in an attempt to soothe her and Clara could slowly feel herself falling asleep in the Doctor's arms.

Eventually, Clara fell asleep. The Doctor held her there for a moment. She looked so peaceful and a small smile played on her lips. What was she dreaming about? The Doctor gently lifted her, trying to avoid waking her. However, a small moan escaped her lips, he had disturbed her. He silently cursed his clumsiness. "It's okay Clara." whispered the Doctor and she nestled deeper into his chest.

Carefully, the Doctor carried her through to her room and gently placed her on the bed and slowly drew the covers up around her. He couldn't help smiling at her sleeping form, Clara was breathtakingly beautiful. How perfect she was. The doctor quietly made his way towards the door. However, Clara stirred. The Doctor whipped around, concern etched all over his face. She was looking him straight in the eye. "Don't leave me." Clara mumbled.

"Never." The Doctor breathed. He shuffled towards her bed and lay down next to her. Placing a hand over her waist, he drew her closer to him and played with the light curls that had formed in her hair.

They both fell asleep like that. Together. It was one of the most peaceful nights either of them had had in a long time.


	3. Chapter 3: The Morning After

**Note: I am going to link this with The Name of the Doctor because I have an idea for some whouffle events that could happen after the end of that episode because it was so amazing! I think it could be a progression in their relationship.**

***Disclaimer* I don't own anything all credits go to the bbc and Steven Moffat where appropriate.**

The Morning After

The Doctor slowly awoke to the sound of a loud clattering outside of Clara's room. He reached out across the bed with his eyes still closed but only felt empty space. The pillow was cold and there was a small indent where Clara's head should have been. The clattering was getting increasingly louder. Suddenly, there was a loud crash and a muffled scream.

Immediately, the Doctor leapt out of bed and shouted "Clara! Clara are you okay?" and sprinted towards the direction in which he last heard the noise. No response. "Clara?" he was beginning to worry.

"I'm in here." She sounded annoyed. Very annoyed. "You know Doctor, I really think you should maybe, oh I don't know, suggest to the TARDIS that maybe she doesn't put flour where I can't reach it." Sarcasm dripping in her tone. At this the Doctor rounded the corner and there she was: Clara Oswald covered head to toe in flour. He couldn't help himself, the Doctor burst into laughter. "It isn't funny!" but Clara couldn't suppress the smile that was beginning to play on her lips.

"Hey Clara, I think there's something on your face." Said the Doctor slyly. This earned a scowl.

"Oh really?" she muttered, picking up an egg as she stepped closer to the Doctor. She was plotting something, which was obvious as a mischievous grin was plastered on her face that lit up her eyes. The Doctor couldn't help himself, he was staring into those beautiful eyes that held so many mysteries that the Doctor was longing to learn. Clara knew she'd distracted him, so teased him with a slight tilt of the head and a raise of the eyebrow. "Something the matter Doctor?" she teased. Clara was now mere inches from his face. It was almost like she had him in a trance.

"I... um...I..." stuttered the Doctor. She reached up her hand. The Doctor felt his hearts flutter. Was this actually happening? She played with his hair. The Doctor couldn't believe it. She leant in.

Smack.

The Doctor felt a cold substance run down the back of his neck. She had smashed the egg on his head! Mouth gaping, he stared at Clara in disbelief. "What's wrong Doctor? Got something in your hair?" she giggled. Her musical laugh filled the room.

"That was unfair! You cheated!" exclaimed the Doctor.

"I wasn't aware this was a game." Said Clara, winking at him.

"Shut up."

They both burst into laughter. The TARDIS engines groaned as if in protest of them having fun together, causing Clara to laugh even more. "I think you need to tidy this mess up Doctor."

"I need to tidy this mess up?" protested the Doctor.

"Well I think you deserve to. After all you did laugh at me, so I figure that you owe me." She said to the Doctor. "Have fun!" she called, walking down the corridor.

Clara left him stood there unsure of what to do. She'd managed to get her way again. How did she do it? However, he was not left alone for long; Clara came thundering down the corridor. "I forgot!"

"What"

"I'm supposed to be at the Maitland's today!" she exclaimed, out of breath, the TARDIS had probably sent her the long way round again.

"Do you have to go?" the Doctor sounded crestfallen.

"I promised and I'm supposed to be staying for a week."

"Oh. I'll go start up the TARDIS then." With that he sloped off towards the console room, whilst Clara went to get changed. Within a few short minutes the TARDIS had arrived at the Maitland house. However, it took Clara another half an hour more to emerge into the console room.

The Doctor could not help but admire her. Beautiful as always. Mesmerising. He shook himself out his stupor before she could notice. "You know I'll just take the short way round."

"I know because you have the patience of a five year old." The Doctor looked mildly offended, but then he let out a soft, breathy laugh.

"I'll see you next Wednesday then Doctor?"

"Of course. Well maybe. You know how it is." She laughed and quickly embraced him. The Doctor buried his face in her hair and she giggled softly down his ear. This caused a slight shiver to travel through him as her breath tickled his ear.

"See you sometime in the future then. Bye Doctor." She laughed and stepped out of the TARDIS.

"Bye Clara, my impossible girl."

She was an impossibility, she was impossible in the way she could wrap the Doctor around her little finger. Impossible in the way she was so mystifying and entrancing. She was the impossible girl who was squeezed into a skirt that was just a little too tight.

**Note: This is just a link to my next chapter which will go on to the events of the Name of Doctor with some changes :)I probably will not update until next week because I have GCSE exams this week**

**-windowacrosstime x **


	4. Chapter 4: I will be Soufflé girl

**_*Disclaimer* all rights go to the bbc._**

**Clara's point of view.**

_-10__th__ April 2013-_

Today is the day. Today is the day I become soufflé girl. This soufflé is going to be too beautiful to live.

"Oh no. You're trying to make a soufflé again aren't you?" complained Angie.

"My mum's soufflé? Yeah, but this time I will get it right. This time I will be soufflé girl!" I said rather indignantly.

"How can it be your mum's soufflé if you're the one making it?" questioned Artie.

"Well Artie, it's like my mum always said, the soufflé isn't the soufflé, the soufflé is the recipe."

"Was your mum deep on puddings?" asked Angie.

"She was a great woman." I said in a matter of fact tone.

I was stood there whisking the mixture for a few short moments, willing it to go the way I wanted it to… for once. Then, something caught my eye.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Oh it came for you before." said Angie

It was a letter. I picked it up and studied it for a moment. Strange, it looked like it was hundreds of years old, yet it was still addressed to me. Turning it over, I prepared myself to open this strange package but it read: 'Open when alone'. This was getting more peculiar by the second.

"I'm just going upstairs for a… erm… nap. Yeah a nap." I stammered.

This earned me a suspicious frown from Angie, but luckily she chose not to comment on my strange behaviour. So, I rushed upstairs to my room. Nervously, I opened the letter. It read:

**_My dearest Clara,_**

**_The Doctor entrusted me with your contact details in the event of an emergency and I fear one has now arisen._**

Wait. What? Does that mean the Doctor's in danger? What if he gets hurt? What if I can't help him? Hang on, why am I so worried about him? My stomach is in knots, why? Maybe I am starting to see him as more than a friend. No, that is definitely not it, definitely not. Yes, I care about him and flirt with him pretty much all the time, but we aren't more than friends… are we? Get a hold of yourself Clara. Anyway, I better keep reading.

**_Assuming this letter will have reached you as planned on April 10_****_th_****_ 2013. Please find and light the enclosed candle. _**

Ok, this is weird.

**_It will release a soporific that will induce a trance state, enabling direct communication across the years._**

There is no way I am touching or using that candle. So, I threw it quickly across the room.

**_However, as I realise you have no reason to trust this letter, I have taken the liberty of embedding the same soporific into the fabric of the paper you are holding._**

**_Speak soon._**

Wait what? The room was swaying around me; I couldn't see clearly, what has this mad woman done to me? Then I was falling. Well this will hurt when I wake up. However, it wasn't a heavy fall like I thought. I landed in a chair and was immediately passed a cup of tea by Madame Vastra. Could this day get any stranger? I thought I had seen it all with the Doctor, but obviously not. This was by far the strangest.

"Nice of you to join us." Said the lizard woman, who I do find a little creepy to be honest, I mean a lizard woman from the dawn of time; that's not normal! Well obviously it is in the Doctor's world. I would have thought I'd I have been used to this by now, but walking, talking lizard lady, I think I can be forgiven.

"Where am I?" I asked cautiously.

"Exactly where you were, just sleeping." Explained Jenny.

"We are waiting for only one more participant." Stated Vastra.

"Not the one with the gigantic head." Complained Strax

"It's hair Strax." Jenny corrected.

"Hair." Strax said with a hint of disdain in his voice.

With that statement she appeared and Strax was not kidding about that hair. She had a an unruly mop of curly hair, it must have added at least an inch to her height.

"Professor, help yourself to some tea."

"Why thank you." The women said. But she did not pick up a cup of tea. She had a glass of champagne in her hand. I don't think I like this woman, I think she tries too hard to impress, when to be honest there was no need for it.

"How did you do that?" exclaimed Jenny in amazement.

"Disgracefully."

Definitely did not like this Professor person. So far she hadn't even acknowledged me, too busy trying to be centre of attention I guess to worry about who is around her.

Oh now she looks at me. She was now giving me a cold and calculated stare. "Ah, perhaps you two haven't met. This is the Doctor's companion." Vastra started to explain to the Professor, whoever she was. However, she quickly corrected herself after the women looked at her quite fiercely. "That is his current travelling assistant."

"Assistant?" I couldn't help it, a giggle sounded out in my voice, oops.

"Have you got a darker objective?" Strax asked me. I just shrugged, I could feel the tension building, this woman obviously doesn't like me either.

Vastra interrupted. "Clara Oswald." She said finally introducing me, about time too.

"Professor River Song. The Doctor might of mentioned me." That was a bit presumptuous of her.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, Professor River Song. It's just I never realised that you were a woman." I said rather coldly, I surprised myself a little actually. It definitely struck a nerve; the woman was now giving me a cold smile.

Vastra finally began to explain what was happening. There was a man that was trying to bargain his life, by giving Vastra space-time co-ordinates. Well, that was what the curly haired woman described them as anyway. What I definitely knew was that the Doctor was in danger and I had to do something, but something was wrong with Jenny. She was crying.

"What's wrong with her." I asked, concerned now because she had gone very pale, too pale, she almost looked dead.

"Jenny, Jenny, what's wrong?" Vastra was starting to panic.

"I think I've been murdered." Whispered Jenny and her shape started to blur. She was gone.

"You need to wake up now!" Shouted Professor Song and slapped Vastra square across the jaw. "You too Strax." Then she threw a glass of champagne over his large, bald head.

There was an ominous whispering filling the room. It sounded as if it was coming from behind me. Then multiple men, no they weren't men they were things, walked into the room, they had no facial features other than a mouth, that hard horrible rotting teeth inside them.

Then a face appeared in the middle of the room which said to tell the Doctor "He has lost his friends forever more, unless he goes to Trenzalore." I was truly scared of this place; it had been mentioned more than once. Where ever it is, the Doctor is not supposed to go there. All I know is I have to do what I can to protect the Doctor, help him in any way that I can. I have to tell him what happened.

I can hear him, I must be waking up. "Angie, Artie, am I getting warmer?" He wasn't here was he? Next thing I know I'm on my bedroom floor. "Angie, Artie am I getting warm. Am I getting warm?!" He was getting impatient now. I swear he is a 5 year old inside that complex brain of his. So, I made my way down stairs. There he was my Doctor. In a blind fold.

"What are you doing?"

"Mr Maitland went next door, so I said I would look after the kids. They said they wanted to go the cinema, but I said not until you wake up. I was very firm." He said, trying to reassure me.

"At which they suggested blind man's bluff?"

"Yes." She wanted to laugh, but she couldn't, here was her chin boy, completely oblivious to the danger he was in, it almost broke her heart. She could see how happy he was and she knew she was going to have to tell him, sooner rather than later. "Where are they?"

"At the cinema." I reached up and took the blind fold off his head. He looked straight into my eyes and smiled at me sweetly. However, for the first time I did not return it.

"What's wrong?" He was starting to worry about me. "Are you ill? Has someone upset you?"

"No."

"Tell me what's wrong Clara." He said clasping my hands in his and stroking the back of them reassuringly, but I wasn't the one who needed reassuring.

"You're in danger."

"What do you mean? What makes you say that?"

"Trenzalore."

**Note: I know not much has happened in this chapter, but I wanted to explore Clara's thoughts during the episode a bit more closely. The next chapter will probably be from the Doctor's point of view. Thanks to everyone that has commented, it's great to see you like it.**

**To toothlessfan101 thank you for wishing me luck in my exams :)**

**-windowacrosstime x **


	5. Chapter 5: The Fields of Trenzalore

**Note: some things that the whispermen say might not be accurate. sorry if they aren't.**

***Disclaimer: all rights go to the BBC.***

***Doctor's point of view***

"There's no point in telling you that it's too dangerous."

"None at all."

Braveheart Clara. Always looking into the face of danger with a steely determination that belies the fact she is absolutely terrified. I know there is a chance we could both die at Trenzalore, but we have to save Vastra and Strax, Jenny if it's still possible. Whatever this malevolent force is, I am going to have to face it, at the entrance to my tomb. I'm grateful I have Clara, my Clara, my impossible girl, she is the only one that can save me from myself. She already has, she was the person to make laugh, smile, enjoy life once more, and I thought it was never possible after losing the Ponds.

Yet here I am, putting Clara in danger once again, but I know she is too stubborn to even consider staying at home. I can see it in her eyes, that fiery determination that seems to give a mysterious glint within her rich brown orbs that I always seem to get lost in.

"What's happening?" my impossible girl shouted over the loud protests of the TARDIS.

"She doesn't want to land. I've crossed my timeline in a big way, she doesn't like it, she's shutting down!" with that I ran to the doors of the TARDIS and swung them open. This was it, this was Trenzalore. So this is where I am buried, so much quiet and peaceful. Trenzalore is ravaged, fires glowing across its surface. I died in battle.

"So what do we do now? Do we jump?" asked Clara

"Don't be silly." I was hoping to get a small laugh, a smile, anything that would make me feel that little bit braver. However, Clara's expression was just as serious as my own. "We fall." She turned to look at me then, looked me straight in the eye. That look we shared conveyed all the sorrow and pain we both have felt, but also gave each other the reassurance that neither of us was going to abandon the other. It was our unspoken promise. The promise that we would hold until the very day we die. "She's turned off practically everything, other than the anti-gravs. Guess what I'm turning off."

We were falling. Clara was screaming. All I want to do is reassure her, hold her, tell her everything was going to be ok, that we would make it out alive, but how could I lie to her, when I don't even know if we will survive this? She deserves more than that, more than empty promises. Finally, the TARDIS hit the ground, after what seemed like an eternity of falling. I immediately ran to Clara. Relief flooded over me, she was ok, a bit shaken, but not hurt. We slowly made our way to the doors. I took a deep breath to prepare myself. Then Clara gently took hold of my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. There was something in that small gesture that gave me hope, made me believe there was a chance that if I did not save us both, I could at least save the impossible girl.

"Are you okay? You're visiting your own grave, anyone would be scared." Clara asked me, she is so concerned about me, more than she was for herself.

"It's more than that. I'm a time traveller. I've probably time travelled more than anyone else."

"Meaning?"

"My grave is potentially the most dangerous place in the universe." I took a deep breath. "Shall we?" I said and reached out for Clara's hand.

"Gravestones are a bit basic."

"It's a battlefield graveyard. My final battle." I murmured.

"Why are some of them bigger?"

"They're soldiers, the bigger the gravestone the higher the rank." The scene that was before me was heart wrenching, all those lives lost, all those futures gone. War is worthless. There is no glory in it, it is never the answer. I felt as if I was treading in the footsteps of death, but Clara's small hand lightly gripping my own was the only thing that was keeping me from screaming, she is the one that can get me through this.

"That's a hell of a monument." Whispered Clara, in awe of what she could see before her.

"It's the TARDIS." I stated

"I can see that."

"No. When a TARDIS is dying, sometimes the dimensional dams break down, all the bigger on the inside starts leaking to the outside. It grows. When I say that is the TARDIS, I don't mean it looks like the TARDIS, I mean it actually is the TARDIS. What else would they bury me in?" I paced away and began to inspect the surroundings, but Clara didn't follow, she had turned around and was looking at something with intense interest. "Well come on then!" I shouted, rather impatiently. "Who are you talking to? We need to get…" I stopped mid-sentence. It couldn't be. It's not possible. "River?"

"That can't be right."

"No it can't."

"She's not dead." Clara's eyebrows were knitted together with confusion.

"Oh she's dead I'm afraid. She's been dead a very long time."

"But I met her."

"Long story. But her grave can't be here."

"Doctor!" I followed Clara's gaze. The Whispermen.

_"This man must fall, like all men must. The fate of all is always dust."_

"What do you think that gravestone really is?" Clara asked. Really now? She chooses to ask questions now?

"The gravestone?"

"Maybe it's a false grave."

"Yep maybe." Wait perhaps she is onto something.

"Maybe it's a secret entrance to the tomb!"

"Yes of course! Makes sense. They would never bury my wife out here." Clara you absolute genius.

"Your what?" But before I could reply the floor collapsed beneath us.

_"The man who lies will lie no more. For this man lies at Trenzalore."_

Their ominous whispering followed us down the hole. Echoing off the walls. "Where are we?" Clara whispered.

"Catacombs."

"I hate Catacombs." Clara said, obviously not amused. I really can't blame her; after all they aren't exactly a pleasant place to be. "So, how come I met your dead wife?"

"Well you know how it is. You lose someone close to you and you sort of make a backup."

Clara had stopped again. Something was distracting her. Suddenly, one of the whispermen surged forwards reaching for my Clara. I immediately grabbed her and pulled her away. I could not lose her again. Not this time.

We were sprinting down the passage, Clara gripping my hand out of desperation. This is all my fault, I should not have let her come. Finally, we reached a door, I wrenched it open and stepped through quickly. I was about to pull Clara through. No. The whispermen had grabbed her!

"Doctor!" she was desperate, she was terrified.

"Clara!" No not now. I pulled as hard as I could to get her free. She wriggled free. Relief, happiness, I can't describe the many emotions I am feeling right now. My Clara is safe… for now.


	6. Chapter 6: The Time Stream

**NOTE: All of Clara's flashbacks will be in italics and the whispermen's speech will be in bold**

***Disclaimer: all rights go to the BBC***

***Clara's point of view***

My head. What is happening? My legs are shaking, I can't keep up with the Doctor. I started to stumble and I reached out for the wall to steady myself. My breathing was becoming laboured. I don't understand.

"Clara. Clara! What's wrong? Clara? Hey it's ok. You're ok." the Doctor hurried towards me, a look of concern etched on his face. He pulled me into his chest, supporting me and helping me move forward. "The dimensioning forces this deep in the TARDIS can make you a bit giddy."

"I know, I know." I forced myself away from him "How do I know? How do I know that?"

"Clara, it's okay. You're fine" he was trying desperately to reassure me.

"Have we… have we done this before?" My head felt like it was being crushed. I was seeing things, things I didn't remember.

_I was following the Doctor down an endless corridor, he was waving his sonic screwdriver around._

_I was in the console room. Alone. Glancing around._

"We have. We have done this before. Climbing through a wrecked TARDIS."

_I was running. Hand gripping the Doctor's tightly, as if my life depended on it. We barely stopped before falling over the edge of the chasm that was in front of us._

"You said things, things I'm not supposed to remember." Had the Doctor done this to me?

"We can't do this now. The TARDIS is in ruin. The telepathic circuits are awakening memories you're not supposed to have." The Doctor was trying to get me to move, but I just stared at him blankly.

_"Why do I keep meeting you?" What was he talking about? I don't understand. "I went to the Dalek Asylum. There was a girl in a shipwreck and she died saving my life. She was you."_

"Clara." The Doctor was trying to get my attention.

_"Victorian London. There was a governess who was really a barmaid and she died. She was you!" He's scaring me, why is he shouting at me? I'm scared, I don't understand._

"Clara. Clara, what's wrong?" I pushed him away; I didn't look him in the eye. I stumbled forwards towards the metal mesh, grateful for its support.

"What do you mean you keep meeting me? You said I died, how could I die?" I couldn't have died. I'm alive. What's happening to me?

"That's not a conversation you should even remember." Why was he trying to avoid it? Is it his fault? Did he make me forget?

"What do you mean I died?" I was shouting at him, I'm so scared. I don't know whether I should be scared of him. He is the only one that can answer me. The Doctor wouldn't have made me forget for any other reason than to protect me, would he?

**"The girl who died he tried to save, she'll die again inside his grave."**

I could see that the Doctor was terrified, I want to help him. My Doctor. I have to help him.

"Run." He grabbed my arm and dragged me away. "Run." I tried to grab hold of his arm with my free hand, I was still unsteady on my feet.

We emerged on to a ridge. Jenny, Strax and Vastra were there, thank goodness there were safe. However, there was a strange man, dressed like a Victorian gentleman, he was standing in front of what I presume was the Doctor's tomb. We were surrounded by whispermen.

"The doors require a key." The strange man paused "The key is a word. Word, is the Doctor's." The sinister man turned around. He held an unimpressed and calculating expression on his face.

"Here I am. Late to my own funeral." The Doctor quipped. "Glad you could make it."

"Open the door Doctor. Speak. Open your tomb." The man commanded.

"No." the Doctor replied simply.

"Because you know what's in there?"

"I will not open those doors." All I could do at this moment in time was stare the man down, there nothing I could do without putting the Doctor in danger.

"The key is a word lost to time, a secret hidden in the deepest shadow and known to you alone." The Doctor closed the gap between them. "The answer to a question."

The Doctor thrust his face aggressively in front of the man's. "I will not open my tomb." Anger and impatience was creeping into the Doctor's voice now, I have never heard him speak like that to anyone and I would never like to be on the receiving end of it.

"Doctor. What is your name?" however it didn't seem to faze the man.

They stared each other out for a short moment. Then the man slowly reached up his hand and grabbed the Doctor's chin. Please don't hurt him. Please no. Then the Doctor, pulled that repulsive man's hand off of his face.

"The Doctor's friends. Stop their hearts."

The whispermen let out a horrible hissing noise. One started moving towards me, reaching its hand out. I could feel my chest tightening. I felt as if I was being choked. I started to back away.

"Doctor." I called for him. I need him, I'm scared.

The creature was still moving towards. I was cornered I couldn't escape. This horrible feeling was creeping over me. Was this what death felt like? I couldn't breathe properly.

"Please stop it." The Doctor was trying desperately to make it stop.

"Doctor Who?" persisted the man.

Collapsing to the floor I shouted for him again. I couldn't take this much longer. "Doctor!" I screamed. The whisperman was mere inches from my face.

"Doctor Who?"

"Please!" There was a loud groaning noise, the doors must have opened. Surely his name wasn't please, was it? Wait it must have been River, I could see her out of the corner of my eye. Even though I do not particularly like her, I was extremely grateful; she had saved all of our lives. However, we obviously were not safe yet

The whispermen started to move away, but I was still struggling for breath. "Why did you open the door sir? I had them on the run." Called Strax.

"I didn't do it." Replied the Doctor. "I didn't say my name."

"No I did." I heard River say, but I was the only one that could hear her.

"Is everyone alright? Is everyone okay?" he asked the others. I still felt like I was choking, I could not stop coughing. "Clara? Clara?" he places his hand on my back "Are you okay?" he asks as he helps me to my feet.

"That was not nice." I choked out.

"I know. I'm sorry." He pulls me into a long hug and holds my head to his chest. I could hear the two rhythms of his hearts merging into one. I grip him tightly; grateful for the warmth and comfort his embrace gave me.

"Now then Doctor Simeon or Mr G intelligence or whatever I call you. Do you know what's in there?"

"For me, peace at last. For you, pain everlasting. Won't you invite us in?" This was it. Time to enter the Doctor's tomb. The Doctor turned back to look at me, a look of pure sorrow crossing his face. I gave him a small smile in an attempt to reassure him. He stepped forward and forced the doors to open further.

It was the console room of the TARDIS, the current one, it couldn't help but wonder if that meant that the Doctor's death was not so far away. In that moment I knew that I would do anything to protect him, to save him. Anything that was possible. I followed him slowly up the staircase that was wrapped in vines. I knew this was hurting him… badly. We reached the top of staircase and I was bathed in a mysterious light that tracked from the ceiling to the floor. It appeared to be winding around itself.

"What's that?" I asked the Doctor.

"What were you expecting? A body?" his reply had a tone of bitterness, but also sadness. "Bodies are boring. I've had lots of them. That's not what my tomb is for."

"But what is that light?" asked Madame Vastra, curious.

"It's beautiful." Added Jenny.

"Shall I destroy it?" said Strax. In normal circumstances I would have laughed at his comment, but deep down I knew that something horribly bad was going to happen. I knew the Doctor was going to get hurt, even more than he is hurting now, emotionally and physically.

"Shut up Strax." Scolded Madame Vastra.

"Doctor explain. What is it?" I questioned him; I knew I was the only one that could get through to him at this moment in time.

"Time travel is… damage. It's like a tear in the fabric of reality. That is the scar tissue of my journey through the universe. My path through time and space, from Gallifrey to Trenzalore." He pointed the sonic screwdriver towards the light and pressed a button. Suddenly, all his voices filled the room. It was like hearing ghosts of the dead. In a way those bodies had died once he had regenerated. All of his past was leaking into the room. "It is like my own personal time tunnel, all the days, even the ones that… I, erm, even the ones I haven't lived yet." His face turned ashen and his legs buckled underneath him. Please, Doctor, please. You can survive this. He was writhing on the floor in pain. I can't stand seeing him like this.

"Doctor!Doctor!" I ran to him, I held him in my arms. Giving him the comfort that he has given me so many times before.

"The paradox is… it's very bad." Doctor Simeon started to step towards the time stream. "No. What are you doing? Somebody stop him!"

"The Doctor's life is an open wound and an open wound can be entered." Doctor Simeon said. He appeared to be entranced by the light dancing before him. He turned his dull gaze towards the Doctor.

"No, it would destroy you."

"Not at all, it will kill me, it will destroy you. I can rewrite your every living moment. I can turn every one of your victories into defeats. Poison every friendship. Deliver pain to your every breath." No he can't do this, he can't. What would happen to the Doctor? Will he die? I looked at the Doctor's face, it was contorted in pain. Please don't die.

"It would burn you up. Once you go through, you can't come back, you will be scattered along my timeline. Like confetti."

"It doesn't matter Doctor. Now you will give me peace, as I take my revenge on every second of your life. Goodbye, Doctor." With that he stepped backwards, into the time stream.

The Doctor was screaming, crying out with pain. Writhing in my hold. I put my hand on his chest trying to steady him. "What's wrong with him? What's happening?" Tears started to fall down my face. I had to do something

"He's being rewritten!" cried Vastra "He's dying all at once. Simeon is attacking his entire timeline. The Dalek Asylum. Androzani." That can't be.

"What did you say? Did you say the Dalek Asylum?"

He always called me his impossible girl, the only mystery worth solving, now I know why. I can remember the Dalek Asylum, I saved him. I waited for him. Waited for a year. Making soufflés, but I wasn't really making soufflés, it was a fantasy I created, to stop me thinking about the thing I had been forced to become. The colour of the time stream changed to a menacing red and Simeon's voice echoed throughout the room "It is done." He's still screaming, I can't bear that sound. I know what I have to do.

"A universe without the Doctor… there will be consequences." Said Vastra "Jenny with me." They left the room and Strax followed.

"The Dalek Asylum. You said it was me that saved you."

"My whole life is burning." I couldn't sit here and do nothing.

"I have to go in there."

"Please. Please, no."

"But this is what I've already done. You've already seen me do it. I'm the impossible girl and this is why." Goodbye Doctor.

I could hear River's voice. "The time winds will tear you into a million pieces. A million versions of you, living and dying all over time and space. Like echoes." But the echoes can save the Doctor. One of them has already done that in the Dalek Asylum. "They won't be you. The real you will die. They'll be copies" But they will be real enough to save him. It's like my mum said: The soufflé isn't the soufflé. The soufflé is the recipe. I leant over and stroked his cheek gently.

"It's the only way to save you." I whispered.

Madame Vastra rushed inside "The stars are going out. Jenny and Strax are dead. There must be something we can do."

I stood up "Well how about that? I'm soufflé girl after all."

"No. Please." He was begging me not to, but I'm the only one that can save him.

"If this works, get out of here as fast as you can. Spare me a thought now and then."

"No, Clara." He was reaching out for me, desperation in his eyes. I'm sorry Doctor, but it has be done.

I stepped towards the light. "In fact, you know what? Run. Run, you clever boy and remember me."

"No! Clara!"

I ran. Straight into his time stream. Goodbye Doctor. I'll see you again sometime. Don't forget me. I'll always be there. Watching, waiting, for you.

_I don't know where I am, I just know I'm running. Sometimes it's like I've lived a thousand lives, in a thousand places. I'm born. I live. I die. Always there's the Doctor. Always, I'm running to save the Doctor, again and again and again. He hardly ever hears me, but I've always been there. Right from the very beginning. Right from the day he started running._

_Run you clever boy and remember me._

**Note: Thank you for all the reviews it means a lot :) I know I left most of River's parts out of this section and sort of had her as a disembodied voice this is because I feel that her part will not help with what I want to do with this story.**

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	7. Chapter 7: The Impossible Girl

**Note: Clara's thoughts are in italics.**

***Disclaimer: all rights go to the BBC***

***The Doctor's point of view***

Gone. She was gone. Again. I've lost her again. My impossible girl, my perfectly impossible girl. I feel like my hearts have been broken into a million pieces. She was the one that gave me something to live for; she had brought me out of the darkness. Clara, my Clara. I need you. I can't live without you.

I won't give up. I can't. I have to save her. I will not let her die for me again; she has already done that so many times. Now it is my turn to save her.

"Clara!" I screamed in desperation. This could not be happening. She had said _those_ six words to me again. She knew she was going to die; she was going to die to save me.

My impossible girl had restored my timeline; Jenny and Strax were alive once more. "It was an unprovoked and violent attack…" I could hear Strax arguing with Madame Vastra.

"We are all restored, that is all that matters now." She was trying to reason with him. How could she say that? Just because she has her two friends back does not mean everything is okay. How ignorant could someone be? She is forgetting the person who saved them, the one that sacrificed everything. Vastra will forever be in Clara's debt. She should never forget that.

"We are not all restored." Fury creeping into my tone, I could not believe what I had heard come out of that woman's mouth. I looked upon them with scorn. "I have to get her back." The time stream. I have to go into my own time stream. It is the only way I could have a chance of saving my impossible girl.

"But how?" Jenny questioned.

"Is she still alive? It killed Doctor Simeon." Vastra added.

"Clara has got one advantage over the Great Intelligence." I said.

"Which is?"

"Me." Grim determination was set in my features. I have to save her.

"If I don't return, go to the TARDIS. She should take you home." I don't care what happens to me in there, as long as I'm with Clara. If she dies in there, I won't ever leave her side. We will end this together.

I turned to face my time stream. It was now or never. If Clara is still alive, she won't have much time left. I had to take this chance. All of this is my fault. It is my fault she is in there. She made the biggest sacrifice that anyone could ever give, she is Clara Oswald and she is the impossible girl. It was time to save her. Stepping forward, I let the light of my own time stream envelop me.

_I don't know where I am. I don't know where I'm going, or where I've been. I was born to save the Doctor, but the Doctor is safe now. I'm the impossible girl and my story is done._

I can hear her. She is impossibly scared, suffering all the pain she will ever feel in the thousands of lives she is going to live. I can feel it. Crying. I could hear crying. It was Clara. She is lost and afraid and it is all my fault. It made my chest tighten, knowing that she was frightened and hurt. I wish I could take the all of this torture for her.

"Doctor?" I'm here Clara, we are going to survive. "Doctor!" she screamed my name, she was desperate, she is so scared. Please Clara, just hang on, don't give up. "Please! Please! I don't know where I am." My impossible girl was distraught, her cries have turned into sobs, she is completely lost. Clara is losing herself.

"Clara. You can hear me. I know you can."

"I can't see you." She calmed slightly at the sound of my voice.

"I'm everywhere; you're inside my time stream. Everything around you is me." I was getting closer to her now I could hear her more clearly.

"I can see you." She sounded mystified; she could see everything that was me. "All your different faces, they're here."

"Those are my ghosts. My past. Every good day, every bad day." There was a sudden disturbance in the time stream, probably because of my presence and I let out a scream. In that moment I thought that I was going to lose her again. It is collapsing in on itself.

"What's wrong? What's happening?" she was truly starting to panic now.

"I'm inside my own time stream, it's collapsing in on itself."

"Well get out then!" she shouted at me, even though she was staring into the face of death, she still manages to be bossy.

"Not until I've got you." Not this time Clara Oswald, I am not leaving you behind. I need you more than you can ever understand.

"I don't even know who I am." She is forgetting herself, I had to get her out of their and quickly.

"You're my impossible girl. I'm sending you something, not from my past, from yours. Look up. Look." I sent the one thing that brought her into existence. It was the leaf that brought her parents together. The leaf she had given up to save Akhaten on our very first adventure together. "This is you Clara, Everything you were or will be. Take it. "You blew into the world on this leaf. Hold tight, it will take you home."

I could see her now. Clara really was impossible. She was standing and started to walk away from me, albeit unsteadily. A little part of me died seeing her in this state, a horrible limp affecting her walk, emotionally broken, confused, lost.

"Clara! Clara!" I had to get her back "Come on! Come on, to me, now." I was desperate, I needed her to trust me "You can do it. I know you can." Please Clara, just try.

"How?"

"Because it's impossible and you're my impossible girl. How many times have you saved me, Clara? Just this once, just for the hell of it, let me save you!" she had started to stumble towards me, her pace quickening every time she came closer. "You have to trust me Clara, I'm real. Just one more step." She ran to close the distance between us. Throwing her arms around my neck, she sobbed into my shoulder. Relief flooded over me and I held her closer to me than I ever thought possible. She was my impossible girl, finally safe in my arms. I was thankful to feel her warmth, she was alive. I buried my head in her neck, breathing in her scent, reminding me of everything that was her. She was clinging on to me for dear life. "Clara. My Clara." I turned my head and kissed her cheek. However, I spotted a shadow a short distance ahead of us. We had to get out of here now. I physically stiffened. Clara noticed the sudden change and turned to look in the direction of my gaze. I still held her close.

"Who's that?" she asked confused.

"Never mind, let's go back." She knew nearly everything about me, but she could not know about this.

"But who is he?"

"He's me. There's only me here, that's the point. Now let's get back." I tried to turn her away from the monstrosity that stood before us.

"But I never saw that one. I saw all of you. Eleven faces, all of them you. You're the eleventh Doctor." She couldn't process it all; her brain wasn't coping with all the new information that was forced inside of her.

"I said he was me. I never said he was the Doctor."

"I don't understand." We have to leave. Now

"Look, my name, my real name- that's not the point. The name I chose is the Doctor. The name you chose, it's like a promise you make. He's the one that broke that promise." She turned to look again. Suddenly, her breathing quickened, she couldn't catch her breath and she was collapsing back against me. "Clara? Clara! Clara!" I started to panic; she has been here for too long. Don't you dare give up on me now Clara Oswald. I quickly scooped her up into my arms and she tried to grip my shoulder, but she had little energy left. Her arm slowly dropped to her side and I felt go completely said. All the things I had never said to her were running through my head. What if I never get to say them? All the things I wanted to show her. What if I never get to show her them? I have never told her how I truly felt about her, what if I never get the chance? "He is my secret."

It spoke. "What I did, I did without choice."

"I know."

"In the name of peace and sanity."

"But not in the name of the Doctor."

I turned away, cradling Clara in my arms, holding her close. Desperately praying that she would make it through this.

I had been carrying Clara for what seemed an eternity. Her breathing was becoming increasingly laboured. "Please Clara, you can do this. Don't give up now. You're the impossible girl, so do the impossible. Please wake up." I started to cry, I knew there was practically no chance of her surviving, but I have to do everything I can. I cannot lose hope. I glanced down to her face and was met with horror, her face was deathly pale. There was a slow trickle of blood coming from her nose. "NO! Clara! Don't leave me! Don't! Please!" This meant her brain was giving up; it couldn't cope with the pressure of all those lives. I was sobbing whilst stumbling forwards and I saw the light that was our way out of here. "Come on Clara. Hold on just a little bit longer. Please." I was begging her, even though it was more than likely she couldn't hear me. "My beautiful Clara. Please. I'm sorry. This is all my fault." Before I stepped into the light once more, I said the one thing that I had wanted to say to her for a long time, I'd been holding it back; I was too scared to admit it, only now it could be too late. "I love you Clara." I leant down and kissed her and my tears dropped onto her face that was already stained by her own, she was so cold. Then, clutching her to my chest, I stepped into the blinding light in front of me. "It is my turn to save you."

**Note: I tried my best to make this chapter more emotional, so please review and let me know what you think. :)**

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	8. Chapter 8: Recovery?

It seemed like an eternity in that unspeakable place for the Doctor, but he had Clara, that was all that mattered, keeping her safe, keeping her alive. They had emerged from the Doctor's time stream hours after he had entered, the Doctor exhausted, Clara knocking on death's door. The Doctor refused to let her go; he wasn't ever going to let that happen again. Jenny, Vastra and Strax had waited for their return and they all rushed forward as soon as the Doctor stepped out with Clara in his arms.

"Sir, you must release the boy to me." Said Strax, trying to make use of his advanced medical knowledge and equipment.

"No. I won't let her go. I can't." the Doctor cried.

"Please Doctor, it is in her best interests." Vastra solemnly added.

"You really expect me to think you would care about her best interests? You may as well have condemned her to death. You would have left in there to die, alone. She was so afraid, so lost and all you cared about was _your _interests. Clara was the one that saved them; she was the one that was willing to give up her life to save all of you. So, don't you tell me about her best interests. You did not care." He released his fury; he could not believe that his own friend would gladly have let Clara die to get what she wanted back. The Doctor did not believe she cared that he could have and could still lose the person he loves.

All three of them were dumbfounded at the Doctor's sudden outburst, Vastra opened her mouth to speak but Jenny quickly silenced her. "Now isn't the best time. He's exhausted and he's frightened he is going to lose her." Jenny whispered.

"I did not realise he cared about her so much."

"He loves her." Jenny said simply.

Strax was busily checking Clara's vital signs, the scanner making short, sharp sounds every few seconds. He finally got a reading, which took longer than it needed to as the Doctor kept rocking Clara gently, whispering things into her ear, trying to urge her wake up, reminding her of the adventures they had had together and how she had saved a whole world by herself. "Sir, if we get her to the infirmary now, she will most likely survive." Strax said triumphantly. The Doctor did not need to hear anything else. He scooped Clara up in his arms once more and ran with her and did not stop until he got to the infirmary. Luckily for him, the TARDIS sensed his urgency and desperation and flung doors open for him and placed the infirmary as close as she could to the console room, with all the equipment her could possibly need to help Clara. "Thank you." He whispered to his ship. Gently, he laid Clara on the bed and began to hook her up to various machines that would register her pulse, blood pressure, brain activity and many other things. Strax entered shortly after, slightly breathless "Sir, I suggest that we give the boy extra oxygen, the brain will recover more quickly that way."

"What would I do without you Strax?" the Doctor said to him.

"Well sir, the boy saved my life, I intend to save his." The Doctor felt tears well in his eyes again after Strax's statement, he would never forget this. Strax immediately placed some sort of breathing apparatus to Clara's face. The small tubes, that were giving her oxygen fitted just inside her nose. The Doctor felt his stomach clench, Clara looked so fragile and ill, she should be awake making some smart remark on how she had saved his and that he owes her. Although, he would never admit to her that he loved the fact that she could cut him down with just a few words that left him speechless because he would never hear the end of it, his Clara would never let that one go.

"I need to undress him." Announced Strax.

"You need to what?" exclaimed the Doctor in surprise.

"I need to undress him." Clarified Strax.

"No. You can't do that. Absolutely not!"

"But there is an injury to the left ankle. If I do not undress him, I cannot treat it."

"We'll do it." Jenny had entered the room with Vastra. "I hardly think it's appropriate for a man to undress a lady when she is in this state." Jenny cast a knowing glance in the Doctor's direction. He immediately turned crimson because of what Jenny had implied.

"Right, well, you can do that then." The Doctor turned and faced the wall.

"Erm… Doctor don't you think you should leave whilst we change her clothes?" Jenny asked.

"I am not leaving her. Not now. Not ever. I am never letting her down again. I need to stay with her through all of this."

"Oh. Well don't turn around then. Strax you need to leave, or at least not look." He chose the latter, just in case Clara's conditioned worsened. The Doctor could hear the two women rooting around for suitable clothing. They eventually came across a nightdress that ended just above the knee and quickly changed Clara into it. "You can look now." Jenny let out a small giggle as the Doctor surged forwards to Clara's side, grasped her hand firmly and kissed it lightly. That man truly adored the impossible Clara Oswald.

Strax had eventually done all he could for Clara, so had left her and the Doctor alone. The Doctor had told him to put in the space time coordinates for his, Jenny's and Vastra's home and that the TARDIS was on auto-pilot, so would fly there herself, this was so he could remain with Clara until she woke up. He was lovingly stroking her hair back off her face with one hand whilst holding hers tightly with the other. "You're safe now Clara I promise. No more running." The Doctor was gazing intently at her face, taking in all her features, her small nose, which was not funny at all despite what he had told her, the sweeping arch of her eyebrow, those long eyelashes that she could expertly use against him and she knew it too. Everything about her was perfect, he needed to tell her everything he felt about her, he needed to confess everything to her, his Clara, his wonderful Clara, but he didn't know how, he didn't even know if she could hear him. So, he would tell her, but he spoke to her in Gallifreyan, pouring out his hearts to her. He eventually stopped, not believing she had heard him and he started to cry, he was so frightened for her, her brain had already shown signs of stress. The Doctor slowly lowered his head to come to rest lightly on her stomach. Suddenly, he felt Clara shift slightly and he could feel a returning pressure on his hand. Then she spoke, her voice was hoarse and cracked slightly "Didn't realise you could be so sentimental chinboy." She had heard him, relief hit him like a tsunami, she was going to be okay. His impossible girl had done it again.

"You could hear me?" he said in shock and he sat up and looked to her face, she hadn't opened her eyes and her face was screwed up in pain.

"Yes." She was battling with herself to stay conscious.

"But how could you understand me I was…?"

"Speaking Gallifreyan." She finished his question for him. "I was there on Gallifrey. I helped you steal the TARDIS." Her voice was an exhausted whisper. Clara was desperately fighting with the blackness that was beginning to overwhelm her.

"Clara, you really are impossible."

"It hurts Doctor. My head."

"It's ok; I promise you everything will be ok." She was begging to slip away from him again.

"Doctor."

"Yes?"

"I love you too."

She went into unconsciousness once more. Letting the memories of her past lives take over. The Doctor was in a state of shock, he hadn't expected her to hear, let alone reciprocate his feelings. She really was his Clara. He was her Doctor. That was all they needed to survive.

**Note: Well two chapters in one day, barely, it's nearly midnight. It was great to see such a good response for the last chapter, so please keep reviewing.**

**To TheHeartOfTheTARDIS, hopefully you won't die now ;) thanks for that comment! Glad you like it :D**

**-windowacrosstime x**


	9. Chapter 9: Wake Up

Clara hadn't woken up since the Doctor had discovered she could understand Gallifreyan. He could not believe what she had said, he had felt his hearts skip a beat; he could finally share memories with someone so long after he had lost his home and his peopleand more importantly with someone he loves. The Doctor hadn't left her side since, he hadn't bothered piloting the TARDIS, he had left it parked in Madame Vastra's garden in 19th century London. The Doctor was not going to let her leave the TARDIS; it would confuse her too much. Jenny and Strax would occasionally come in to offer their help; Strax would always check Clara's vital signs. He had finally decided that Clara no longer needed any help breathing, so had removed the apparatus from her face.

It had been another week. Clara was still asleep. Jenny walked into the infirmary with food for the Doctor and found that he had fallen asleep next to Clara's bed. He had slumped over, head resting next to Clara and his arm wrapped protectively around her waist. "Doctor." No reply, Jenny stepped closer. "Doctor." Still no reply. "Doctor!" He jumped out of his skin and jostled Clara in the process. "What? What? Is there something wrong with Clara?" he worriedly looked over to her, quickly realised that there was no change and quickly pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You know Jenny, next time maybe you could announce yourself a little quieter." He said in a humorous tone.

"Well I did Doctor, but you were asleep." She let out a small chuckle. "I brought some food for you."

"Thank you. I think she might wake up soon, she has been moving slightly." He announced excitedly.

"I hope she does, it's strange not seeing you move around like a madman."

"There is one thing I must ask you though and you must tell the others too."

"Of course."

"Clara has regained memories of her past lives, so she will remember her first encounter with you, she will remember dying."

"I understand Doctor, you want us to stay away until you can explain things to her, to avoid getting her upset."

"Is that okay?"

"Of course it is. We have to think what is best for Miss Clara." She said cheerily.

"Thank you Jenny." Jenny smiled at him and gave him the plate of food and then left with a small wave. The Doctor sat with Clara for the rest of the day, looking up from his book every now and again to check her condition. He had begun to feel his eyelids droop and was struggling to stay awake. He just wanted his Clara back again; he missed her little quips, the quirk of her eyebrows, those brown, expressive eyes that she would always look up at him with a slight twinkle of mischief behind them. He was lost in a dream of Clara Oswald, his impossible girl, longing for her to come back to him again. All those times he could have told her how much she meant to him, so many opportune moments and he could never build up the courage. He was too scared of losing her. There was always that question swirling around his mind: 'What if she doesn't like me in the same way?', but now he knew she did, he had nothing more to hide. This was just the start for them, there were so many places he could take her, so many memories that he could give her, because she knew all of him. The Doctor, whilst thinking of all these possibilities slowly drifted into a light sleep.

They were in the TARDIS. Clara was stood in front of the Doctor smiling brightly at him; he had just given the key for the TARDIS to her. Clara had started to cry, she hadn't understood before, but she does now, she finally found him, he finally saw her. The Doctor had gone to check the controls of the TARDIS and she was standing there mystified by the box that was smaller on the outside. She was so happy in that moment she felt as if nothing could ruin it, but it did. The ice lady suddenly appeared behind her and grabbed her roughly, growling down her ear. The key had flew from Clara's hand and landed on the TARDIS floor. The Doctor's head snapped up only to see Clara being dragged away from him. She was screaming, a horrible drawn out scream of pure terror. Desperate cries of "Let go of me!" escaped her mouth. The monster was still dragging her backwards. No. She was going to pull her over the edge of the cloud. The Doctor sprinted towards them, but he was too late, she had been dragged over the edge. "CLARA!" he screamed. She was falling, getting further and further away from him, but she still had her eyes locked on his face, memorising every last feature. Clara was coming closer and closer to the ground, she was screaming so much that she thought her lungs would burst. Suddenly, she hit the floor with such force, that she was sure she had broken every bone in her body, but she lurched into a sitting position, still screaming, eyes firmly shut. "Clara! Clara! It's a dream, wake up! Please wake up!" It was the Doctor's voice; she could feel hands grasping at her shoulders, shaking her, trying to encourage her to wake up. "Doctor?" she managed to choke out. "Am I dead?"

"No Clara, you're alive, just open your eyes. For me. Please." Clara slowly pried her eyes open. Now the tears truly started to fall, sobs wracked through her body. He was there, her Doctor, right in front of her, he was safe. "You're safe now I promise." He whispered and lovingly wiped tears from her eyes. "My Clara, my beautiful Clara." He pulled her to his chest and kissed the top of her head. Clara clung to him, buried her head into his shoulder and sobbed. The Doctor rocked her gently, rubbed her back, whispered reassurances to her and cradled her in his arms. Tears of his own started to roll down his cheeks, the pure relief that he felt was indescribable, his impossible girl was here, she was alive.

Both Clara and the Doctor stayed in each other's arms for hours, neither of them wanted to let the other go, never wanted to leave the comfort of each other's embrace. So they stayed there until they fell asleep, clinging to each other. Clara's head was resting on the Doctor's chest and his heart beats kept Clara firmly latched on to reality. The Doctor kept a firm hold of Clara, reassuring himself that he had not lost her again. She had returned to him.


	10. Chapter 10: Ghost Stories

**Note: Sorry guys it's been a while, but exams are calling again, 5 more to do then I'm finished, so I will be updating more regularly. I've had so much revision to do its unreal, so I finally found a few moments to write this, so this chapter is shorter, but I will not be updating until after/on the 18****th**** June which is when my exams finish (finally!).**

"Are you sure you don't want to sit down?" Clara was wandering around the console room quite happily, until the Doctor started to worry. "Do you want to rest for a bit?" Clara turned around suddenly, hands placed on her hips, shoulders set and a defiant glint in her eye.

"Doctor, I'm fine. I'm perfectly capable of standing up!" she exclaimed.

"But…" The Doctor began to protest but was interrupted.

"No buts. I will sit down if I need to."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Fine." The Doctor let out an exasperated sigh, which was a mistake because Clara noticed it straight away.

"Aw is the Doctor annoyed because he didn't get in his own way?" she said in a mocking tone, a smirk playing on her lips and a mischievous glint in her eye.

The Doctor's mouth gaped and he was unable to string a sentence together. Why could she always do this to him? Why couldn't he pull himself together? She continued: "Because it's your own fault, you told me I was the boss." Would she ever let that go?

"I didn't say that. That's not what I meant!"

She quirked an eyebrow.

"We both know I am the boss." Stated the Doctor.

"Down boy." She replied with a mischievous grin.

"I… erm… you… shut up!" The Doctor had turned a rather impressive shade of crimson. Clara had started to laugh uncontrollably, her musical laugh filling the room which took the Doctor's breath away.

"So, where are you taking me chin boy." She had eventually stopped laughing, which did disappoint the Doctor slightly. He gave a little, cough and straightened his bow tie in an attempt to compose himself.

"Well, Miss Oswald. We are going to go somewhere where there is no chance of danger."

She frowned at him. "What's wrong with danger?"

"It nearly killed you last time."

"Well, I'm here now aren't I?"

"I don't want to lose you again." Tears had started to form in the Doctor's eyes. "It's my turn to look after you." He choked out.

"Doctor." Breathed Clara and she closed the gap between them, wrapping her arms gently around his waist and burying her head into his chest. The Doctor rested his cheek on the top of her head, feeling her warmth, his Clara was there, still living, she was with him; that was all he needed.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her hair.

"What for?" she mumbled into his chest.

"For all those times I let you die. All the times I never noticed you. All the times I couldn't save you" His tears now started to roll down his cheeks and he was letting out stifled sobs. Clara pulled her back and looked up at him, all of her emotion emanating from her soft brown gaze.

"It isn't your fault. It was my choice and I would do it all over again if it meant saving you." She started to shed tears of her own. They were of her own sorrow, the pain of all the lives she has lived that always ended horribly, but she always saved the Doctor. It filled her with a sense of pride and warmth and love. This was what she was born to do.

The Doctor seeing her tears, gently wiped away her tears and cupped her cheek. "You are special Clara. You are brave, strong and beautiful." Her features softened and her eyes were locked onto the Doctor's. The Doctor lowered his head, while Clara balanced on the tips of her toes. Their foreheads rested together, never breaking eye contact, they stood there for a few moments, revelling in each other's presence, until finally, they closed the last of the space between them. The Doctor's hands came to rest at her waist, Clara's reached for the nape of his neck where she lightly caressed his her, whilst pulling him closer. In that kiss both were able to show the other what they felt without uttering any words. Both had yearned for each other across time and space. This is not a ghost story, it is a love story.


	11. Chapter 11: I thought it was safe

**Note: ok I'm back with another chapter finally. It was a little later than planned but I had a bit of writer's block, but I eventually came up with a plot. This chapter is a bit shorter but the next one will be longer. I don't think it's up to standard and I'm not very confident with it, so please keep reviewing and let me know what you think. :)**

This place looks safe. That was what he had said, but then again there is no such thing as safety with the Doctor. So, here they where, tied up, awaiting their captor's decision on what was going to happen to them.  
"You better have a plan." Clara whispered angrily, back pressed against the Doctor's with a long rope wound around them tightly, pretty much eliminating any chance of escape.

"Well..." The Doctor said nervously.

"For goodness sake! You told me we were going somewhere safe, somewhere peaceful and yet here we are tied up waiting for that thing to decide whether we live or not!" She exclaimed, furious with the Doctor. He was glad he couldn't see Clara's face because he was sure she would be pure fury personified.

"You did say there was nothing wrong with danger, that safety was boring." He mumbled.

"You're not funny." She said in a sharp tone that made the Doctor cringe. He knew he had a lot to make up for.

After they had shared that kiss it had left the Doctor speechless. Clara just smiled widely at him and flung open the TARDIS and stepped out, leaving the Doctor staring at the space in which his impossible girl had just been, replaying that moment time and time again and thinking of the time in Victorian London where she had completely ignored his orders and kissed him to get what she wanted. So very like Clara Oswald, well she was Clara but an echo. The Doctor felt a familiar pang of guilt and sadness at this thought, but he had Clara now and that was all that mattered, she was his priority.

He was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts be a loud, angry shout. "Get off me! Who the hell are you? What are you? Let go of me! Ow, get off!" The Doctor flung himself out of the TARDIS doors, that were still slightly open.  
"Clara? Clara, are you okay?"

"Oh I'm great. You know just being captured, I'm completely overjoyed at the situation." Her tone dripping with sarcasm. 'Well at least she isn't hurt' the Doctor thought to himself, but he knew he was in trouble and not just with the local inhabitants.

"We are incredibly sorry, we must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Now if you could just let Clara over there go, we will be on our way." He tried to reason with the strange creatures.

"That will not be possible. You have invaded our planet." The largest snarled.

"What? No we didn't... Hey!" Two of the creatures had seized the Doctor's hands, pinning them behind his back in a painful hold.

"We must take you to the Emperor. There will be no protestations."

The Doctor then looked towards Clara, she was slumped in her Captor's arms. Panic rose into the Doctor's chest, threatening to choke him. "What have you done to her? If you have hurt her I swear..." He didn't finish, there was a sharp pain in his arm. "I swear... Sorry... You'll... Be sorry." He slurred his words as he slowly felt blackness envelop him, thoughts of Clara dancing through his brain.


	12. Chapter 12: A plan?

Muffled voices circled through her mind. Challenging her to demolish the mental barricades she had built to block away those memories, the ones she couldn't bear to think about. Whatever had been forced into her bloodstream has caused her to lose control of both her body and mind. No coherent thoughts would enter her mind and she struggled to emerge from the blackness that was choking her. All she knew was that she needed to escape its hold, it was the only way for her to be sure of his safety.

She did not know how long she had been stuck in this state. For all she knew it could have been days, weeks even, this is when she decided that she had to wake up. She would fight back. She could allow herself to suffer this mental torture anymore.

"Clara? Clara, are you okay? You need to wake up. Please, for me, do it for me."

She was being beckoned towards the waking world, her vision now hazy instead of a black, it was a small victory.

"Come on Clara squeeze my hand. Do something. Anything!"

Rough material encircled around her arms and torso, causing her arms to be clamped to her side, but her hands were free. She could vaguely feel something in her hands, something that made her relax, that made her feel safe. Clara could feel a light squeeze on her fingers, silently encouraging her to squeeze back. In that moment, she put all the energy she could muster, to that one simple action. However, she couldn't tell if she had actually done it until she heard a cry of pure joy and relief.

"Oh Clara, you really are impossible."

"Doctor?"

"Clara everything is going to be ok I promise. We will get out of here... Eventually." The Doctor whispered urgently.

She didn't miss the 'eventually' like the Doctor hoped she had. "You mean you don't have a plan?" She said in a furious whisper, "You better have a plan." Clara's discovery had finally brought her back to her senses and she was less than impressed.

"Well..." The Doctor mumbled nervously.

"Do you know what, I don't know why I bother." She said in an exasperated tone "maybe next time you should say we're going somewhere dangerous and the opposite will happen!" The Doctor didn't need to see her face to know that there was a frown lacing her features, not that he could she her because his back was pressed firmly against hers and they were tied tightly together. Normally the Doctor would have felt comfortable being this close to his impossible girl, but he could feel the anger coming off her waves, which made him fear for his well being slightly, even with the ever looming danger of the creatures they encountered before.

"I thought you said there was nothing wrong with danger." The Doctor was filled with a false sense of confidence due to the fact that Clara was not able to move and more importantly not injure him.

"You're not funny." She bit out. When they get out of this the Doctor knew he would have to hide for a good few hours, away from her path of fury that will inevitably end up with her in the kitchen attempting to make another soufflé just to calm herself down, even if she still got frustrated because she didn't get it right. Although, it would, in her mind, be her revenge because she would force the Doctor to eat it.

"Don't worry, I'll think of something." He said, determined to prove himself to Clara.

"Be quiet chin boy and let me think."

There was a stifling silence for what seemed like an eternity to the Doctor, but in reality it was only a minute.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

Silence.

"Clara, are you planning something?" He was trying to irritate her into answering him. It was beginning to work.

He was met with silence again.

A small smirk played on his lips. "You know maybe we should see who has the better plan." He suggested, knowing full well that it would prompt Clara to answer him because she was too competitive for her own good.

"You haven't got a plan, so I've already won." She said triumphantly.

"I always have a plan."

"Oh really? Then how come before you said you didn't have a plan?" Clara challenged.

"Minor setback." To this she let out a loud sigh, she was fed up and just wanted to get back to the TARDIS, but here she was stuck in a dark cell with the world's, no universe's, most impatient man strapped to her back.

"How long until they come back in here?" She asked in nervous whisper.

"I don't know. They haven't been in since we were put here, I think."

"Maybe they'll let us go if we explain it was a mistake."

"I already tried that after they knocked you unconscious." He admitted guiltily.

"Perhaps we should-" Clara was interrupted by a large grating sound of metal on stone and immediately pressed herself even closer to the Doctor, closer than he thought possible. They could both hear the distinctive grating of their captors' claws on the cold stone floor. They were getting closer and closer. Eventually they came within touching distance of Clara and the Doctor. The Doctor could see in the darkness, one of the creatures reach out a long scaly hand towards Clara. He could feel her trembling against him. Then the room was filled with her terror filled scream.

**Note: sorry I haven't updated in so long, I had a sixth form induction week last week and have had a stressful week so far as I have had to go to hospital to organise when exactly I will be having corrective surgery on my foot. So, if the chapter is not of normal standard I'm really sorry as I've not really thought about the plot as much as I should have.**

**To Cat: your review made my day! I like cliffhangers ;) Also converting some one to a whouffle believer?! Excuse me while I go dance around my room at my achievement, I feel privileged And is bad to be happy about making someone cry? :') **

**As ever keep reviewing, i love to hear what you guys think. I also need help naming these creatures so any suggestions are welcome. :)**

**-windowacrosstime **


	13. Chapter 13: The Unlucky Ones

**_Note: another slow update guys, I'm really sorry. The reason it took so long was because I had so many ideas of how to write this chapter so I literally wrote them all out and had to pick one that I thought would work best._**

**_I would like to dedicate this chapter to TheHeartOfTheTardis and TaintedMuse1804 who both contributed to names of the creatures in this chapter. I have used both ideas at some point as both sounded great so thanks! :)_**

* * *

_"What of the girl? Is she the one that is described as impossible?"_

_"She is. The one who has lived a thousand lives, the one who knows all of his secrets, all of his weaknesses."_

_"Bring her to me. I must see this 'impossible' girl."_

* * *

"What are you doing? Let her go!"

Clara could feel the rough scales that coated her captor's hands encircling her arms, restraining her. Her body was overtaken by fear, which was causing her to violently struggle to get out of their grasp.

"Who are you? Where are you taking her?"

"We are the Crixonians, fearless warriors of the universe. We have power over every being that ever existed, we are never disobeyed because of the fear we strike into people's hearts." A harsh voice grated from behind the Doctor.

"You are not warriors, you are merciless and cruel, not what a respectful warrior would be." The Doctor said with fury evident in his tone. "Tell me where you are taking her."

"Poor, lonely Timelord, left as a pitiful mess all because of some pretty human girl." The Crixonian who was restraining Clara mocked.

"Tell me now!" He commanded. The Doctor was met with mocking laughs that only served to make him more furious.

"We are taking her to the all powerful leader. He is very keen to know all of the stories this pretty little head holds." Clara let out a terrified whimper as her captor drew a hooked claw across her cheek.

"I f you harm her in any way, I'll-"

"You'll what Doctor? Kill us all? In that case you are no better than we are, according to you." The Crixonian teased. "It wouldn't matter, you won't be able to save her."

"Let her go!" The Doctor screamed in desperation whilst Clara's choked sobs echoing around the room.

"Doctor please don't let them take me." His Impossible girl whimpered.

"Don't listen to them Clara, I'll come and get you, I promise. Be brave."

* * *

_"Doubts have been planted in the girl's mind, she is beginning to wonder whether he will come for her."_

_"Good. She will be more likely to give up her secrets if she thinks he has given up on her."_

_"I think you underestimate how much she is devoted to the last Timelord."_

_"Think of how many times he has failed her- hundreds."_

_"She gave up those lives for him, she knew of the consequences."_

* * *

Why did danger always follow Clara and the Doctor? There was never a peaceful moment. Clara could not help but wonder whether it was possible to feel safe even though she knew she wasn't. She knew the Doctor would come for her. Gone were the days were he never saw her, the days were he wouldn't hear, the days were she died without him knowing. This was her Doctor, the Doctor that saw, the Doctor that heard, the Doctor that searched for her. She was his Clara, she knew he called her that, he thought she didn't, but he thought aloud often enough to know that he called her that more often than not. How could these Crixonians believe that she would doubt the Doctor?

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks, not for herself, but for the Doctor, she knows what this must be doing to him, he must be overwrought with guilt, but Clara believes it isn't his fault no matter how much she will shout at him for getting them in this mess.

Clara was being slowly dragged down winding corridors, she had no idea how far away she was from the Doctor now, but she started to memorise the route in case she could get back to him. "I'm perfectly capable of walking you know." She complained.

"We wouldn't want the impossible girl to over exert herself now would we?" Hissed the Crixonian that went by the name of Raglax.

Clara's head snapped up at his use of the Doctor's name for her. "How do you know that? You shouldn't know that." She started to panic.

"We know many things about you, Clara Oswald, we have been following you through time and space. We know that you have knowledge of all the Doctor's secrets, all his battles, even knowledge of the planet Gallifrey. You are also equally as clever as the Doctor, perhaps more clever in some ways, after all you did hack Dalek technology, which was impossible until you came along, well not you but an echo, Oswin Oswald if I remember correctly."

"But how? How do you know?"

"That is non of your concern, I have-"

"It is my concern if I have been followed my whole life and all the others." She argued.

"You are not in a position to argue considering you are of two and we are of many."

"Well then, you obviously don't know much of the Doctor."

"That will all change Clara Oswald. It will all change."

* * *

**Keep reviewing because I want to know what you all think :)**

**-windowacrosstime **


	14. Chapter 14: past, present, future

There are moments when I don't know where I am anymore, what time I'm in or whether what's happening is actually real. All the things I've seen, the secrets I have to keep, are eating up my insides. I'm beginning to feel myself becoming an empty shell, just going through the motions day by day, more for his benefit than mine. However, now is the time to fight. The time to live. Even if the past and present merge, even if it all becomes the same.

Now I'm on my own again, lost until he finds me, facing an enemy that I know needs information from me. I will do everything I can to protect it. To protect him. He is who I live for now.

* * *

She hasn't been herself for weeks. There have been so many times that I have seen her eyes glaze over in pain and fear. She would never admit it, of course she wouldn't, she's too brave and stubborn to admit there is something wrong. I can see that my impossible girl is slowly slipping away from me. She stands in front of me, but she isn't really there, there in body but not in spirit. I fear that this would damage her beyond repair. There are moments where I still she my Clara, there's still hope, I can still save her.

* * *

Ah, the old 'if you don't tell us anything you will die' and 'we will find out what you know whatever the cost. Empty threats for someone who has died thousands of times, each of them as painful as the other. I should be afraid of death, but how can I be when I have shaken hands with death himself so many times that he could be considered an old friend. There is nothing they could do that could possibly scare me anymore.

* * *

What to do? How can I get us out of this mess? I test the ropes for what seems like the hundredth time. Still just as tight. I shift slightly to try to get a good look around the room, but I suddenly feel something behind me, whatever it is, it's sharp. I shift once more so I can obtain the one thing in this poor excuse of a cell that could get me out of these restraints. Finally, I have it in my hands. It's a knife!

Oh Clara you are wonderful. She struggled against the Crixonians to create a distraction. That girl is honestly a genius. Whilst she was 'struggling against them, she must have managed to work the weapon loose and throw it to the floor. She will never fail to impress me. So this was her plan.

* * *

He must have worked out my plan by now. The Doctor can't stay still for more than 30 seconds anyway. Give him about 20 minutes and he'll get here, wherever here is, there are too many corridors to keep track of. All of them the same dull grey, nothing that could determine the different ones. However, I have noticed as I have been pushed and dragged through these corridors, that these monsters keep talking of their 'Emporer' or 'the all powerful'. Really though? If they are so powerful, how come the Doctor seems to have never heard of them before. Perhaps they are trying to make themselves well known, I don't know, maybe trying to get a reputation by destroying the last Timelord, my Doctor?Which is impossible because I will never let that happen, even if it kills me... again.

There will be other versions of me in the Doctor's future, so even if I do die he will never truly be alone. All my incarnations loved and will love him just as much I do because I am absolutely devoted to him, like he is to me. Of course, I know that at Caliburn house the Doctor was describing our story as being not a ghost story, but a love story. This I didn't know at the time, but after finding that he had met me twice before, I know that this was our story.

* * *

After some work I managed to cut through the ropes and after digging through my pockets, I found that I still had my sonic screwdriver. The Crixonians seem to be rather sloppy when I comes to keeping captives, even those Russian soldiers completely emptied my pockets, which took some time I might add. I can come to the conclusion that they are either really confident in their abilities or just plain stupid, possibly both.

Now I have my sonic screwdriver, I can save Clara, I am not going to leave her to their mercy for much longer, goodness knows what they will do to her, no doubt they will think of cruel ways to get information from her. There is no way I am letting her come to any harm. My wonderful, impossible Clara has sacrificed so much for me and I am making a promise to her that she will never have to sacrifice anything for me again. I march towards the door, unlock it quickly and swing it open with as much force as possible, furious that they have separated me from the woman I love.

* * *

They have brought me in front of two huge, or ornate doors, that I presume are the entrance to the room which holds their leader. Well Clara, time to show them what you're made of, because they aren't going to get any information off you. I set my shoulders back and set my jaw, trying not to betray how terrified I really am of what their intentions may be, but I'm not scared for myself, I am scared for the Doctor.

The doors slowly creak open, much like something out of scooby-doo, it is all rather cliché. Suddenly, I am roughly pushed from behind and I stumble into a large, dimly lit room. Strange patterns cover the ceiling and walls which are all painted an ominous blood-red. However, I'm alone in this room, no one is here other than me, but I doubt that that will last long. I am lost until he finds me again. Eventually I am going to have to face an enemy that will probably stop at nothing to get the information they want. I will do everything I can to protect it. To protect him. He is who I live for now.

* * *

**Note: Hey guys, so this chapter is quite emotional, I wanted to explore Clara's feelings more about the events in the time stream and sort of wanted to get across that she isn't herself anymore and is on the verge of giving up. This is all in aid for some fluffy whoufflé goodness in upcoming chapters, but it is also because I have been watching so many whoufflé videos and rewatching series 7 part 2 and have been torturing myself with the feels. (I hate this hiatus by the way, it's killing me)**

**Also, it looks like the next update will not be for a while because I am going on holiday today, but hey I might be able to get some inspiration for a new fic or this one, maybe Clara will have some more flashbacks (hint, hint).**

**Keep reviewing, I want to know what you think and suggestions are always welcome.**

**-windowacrosstime**


	15. Chapter 15: The Danger of Remembrance

**Note: this chapter is completely from Clara's point of view**

* * *

I was wrong I was not alone, but when am I ever alone? At times I will be in a room on my own, but I never truly am. I am left with my memories that fill my senses, leaving me to question whether I am truly living in reality. Do I even know who am anymore? I have to tell myself what I believe to be true:

I am Clara Oswald, not Oswin Oswald or Clara Oswin Oswald  
I am the impossible girl, the only mystery worth solving, but that mystery has been solved.  
I live with the Maitlands.  
When I met the Doctor he was dressed as monk.  
Then I got stuck in the WiFi, he saved me... Twice.  
We went to Akhaten and saved the planet together.  
Then there was the sinking submarine with the ice warrior.  
I saved the Doctor from the pocket universe, with some help of course.  
There's the journey I'm not supposed to remember, the journey to the centre of the TARDIS where I used that trick to not fall in love.  
Next was the Crimson Horror, by far one of the craziest adventures that the Doctor had taken her on.  
Then the cybermen, the Doctor was taken over by the cyber planner. That was the day I knew I had fallen, I had fallen for the Doctor, I guess my trick didn't work after all.  
Finally, there was Trenzalore, were I finally became soufflé girl, I saved the Doctor thousands and thousands of times.  
Now nothing makes sense.

* * *

So, here i am, in what appears to be a pathetic imitation of a throne room. In all honesty, it lacked the decoration to truly be throne room, all it held was an excessively large chair crafted out of stone, I presume it is meant to look intimidating. I suppose it would be for someone who has not seen what I have seen. The red walls cast an ominous glow in the room, casting shadows across the throne, so I could not see if anyone was actually sitting in it unless they made a noise or made the slightest movement which would alter the shape of the shadow.

"You know, I would like to get this over and done with, so if you could hurry this up that would be great." I called out to no one in particular.

Silence

"Hello?" I paused and then muttered: "if there is one thing I hate doing is waiting"

A deep, rasping laugh echoed throughout out the room. I turned towards the sound, which sounded as if it was situated to the left of the throne.

"How fitting, the impossible girl finds it impossible to wait, after waiting for thousands of years." The voice said mockingly. "Now what should I call you? The impossible girl? Clara? Oswin? Or perhaps maybe The Protector?"

I flinched at the mention of the name I had chosen as a Time Lady, one of the most painful of my lives.

"Ah yes, The Protector did not get to do much protecting I suppose, after all The Doctor did kill you himself, along with millions of others."

"Shut up, you do not know what truly happened otherwise you and your species would be dead along with the Time Lord's" I snapped.

"Oh dear I appear to have struck a nerve, how... Clever of me." The voice mocked "It is a shame, Miss Oswald, that anger is your greatest downfall along with your curiosity."

"That might be true, however if you had really been following me, as I have been told, you would know my anger has not always been my downfall." I challenged. "Now. Are you going to show yourself, or continue hiding in the shadows like the coward that you are?"

The owner of the voice ignored my challenge. "How do you the think the Doctor will feel once he finds out that he killed you himself? Perhaps I should tell him.? They paused for thought. "No. You should."

"No, no I won't you can't force me to!" I cried.

"You don't want him to know because it would truly crush him. It would destroy him if he had the knowledge that he had killed the woman that he loves. The woman he would die for to protect, only to have killed her himself."

"It would kill him." I whispered. "He must never know."

"I shall propose to you a deal Miss Oswald. The Doctor will never know that he killed you, if you agree to send him away from here, but you must remain."

"But I thought it was the Doctor you wanted."

"On the contrary it was you who we wanted all along, we planted the idea that we were after the Doctor to merely present you with an incentive."

"One condition." I set my shoulders in determination.

"Go ahead." The bodiless voice invited.

"I must be the one to make him leave."

"You realise that you will have to break his hearts?" It questions.

I heard myself whisper "Yes."

* * *

I am going to lose him again, after he finally knows who I am, after he finally returns my love. I have to be the one to break his hearts, it is the only way he would ever believe what he was hearing, the only way he would never come back and stay safe. Surely they would kill him if they tried to rescue me, it is my job to make sure that that does not happen because a world without the Doctor would not be safe for anyone. I'm sorry Doctor, but this is our last goodbye. The last goodbye to this Clara, the original recipe, but remember this Doctor, I'm still out there in the Universe and I will love you all the same. Don't give up. Don't go back to your cloud, save the world because I will always be by your side.

* * *

**Hey guys I'm back :) I know I made a promise of whouffle in the last chapter and I swear it is going to happen, just bear with me on this one because I know exactly where I'm going with the next chapter ;) **

**-windowacrosstime **


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